Love, Connection & Repair
Relationships are at the heart of our wellbeing. They can bring us joy, comfort, safety, and laughter—but they can also bring pain, frustration, and loneliness. Whether you’re in a couple or a multi-partnered relationship, navigating the highs and lows isn’t always easy. Many of us find ourselves asking: why does this keep happening? Why do we keep getting stuck in the same patterns?
This is where Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can help.
What is EFT?
EFT was developed in the 1980s by Dr. Sue Johnson and colleagues. It’s a short-term, structured approach to couples and relationship therapy, grounded in attachment theory—the idea that our earliest experiences of closeness and security shape the way we connect with others throughout life.
Our attachment style—whether secure, anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between—shows up in how we respond to conflict, how we seek reassurance, and how we repair when things go wrong. EFT works by helping partners identify these patterns, understand the underlying emotions, and build new ways of reaching for and responding to each other.
The Big Challenges
Every relationship faces storms. Sometimes they’re sudden and devastating, like infidelity, betrayal, or loss of trust. Other times, they’re more gradual—a slow growing distance that’s harder to pinpoint but just as painful. EFT helps partners face these challenges together, creating a safe space to name the hurt, rebuild trust, and rediscover connection.
The Everyday Struggles
Not every rupture comes from something dramatic. Often, relationships falter in the everyday grind:
The disconnection that comes with raising children, when exhaustion leaves little room for intimacy.
The pressures of work, money, or family expectations that pull attention away from each other.
The feeling of being unheard or unseen, even when you’re sharing the same space.
These moments can create cycles where one partner reaches out but feels rejected, while another pulls away to protect themselves. EFT helps break this cycle, so you can turn toward each other instead of away.
Why EFT Works
Research shows EFT is one of the most effective approaches for relationship distress. Around 70–75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and about 90% show significant improvement. That’s because EFT doesn’t just focus on the surface arguments—it gets to the heart of what’s happening: our need for love, safety, and emotional connection.
Through EFT, partners learn to:
Recognise their negative cycles
Understand the emotions driving their reactions
Express needs and fears in a way that deepens intimacy
Create a secure bond that makes relationships more resilient to future stress
A Relationship Reset
If you’ve felt that something is missing, or that the distance between you is growing, you’re not alone. Whether your relationship is facing a big rupture like infidelity, or the everyday disconnection of busy lives, EFT offers a way to reset, repair, and reconnect.
If any of this has resonated with you, perhaps it’s time for a chat.
I offer a free 30-minute consultation where we can talk about what’s happening in your relationship and how therapy could help.
